Wednesday, November 20, 2013

what happens next

My son was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma in June 2004. Since that day I have emailed updates, kept a Caringbridge site, sent text messages and updated Facebook, all in an attempt to keep our prayer warriors in the loop. For 9 years I shared my heart with others. Sometimes on a daily basis depending on where we were in treatment or what the needs of our family were.  When Xander passed away  on August 22, 2013  it came to a halt. I just haven't been sure how to keep Xander's story going. I'm not sure what happens from this point on. I don't want to stop sharing my heart. I don't want Xander's story to end. So here I am nearly 3 months since Xander went to be with Jesus.  I'm uncertain of how this will work, but I'm ready to share. I want to allow others to walk this journey of grief with me, with my family.  What I prayed would never take place did, Xander is no longer on this earth. It doesn't seem real, but it is. Each day I wish it were different. Each day I know I can make it because Jesus lives. I can face uncertain days because He lives. All fear is gone because He lives. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.


  1. May God's grace cover your wounds as you walk this journey and may He use it for His glory. Your family is loved and prayed for all over the world, allowing many to see the truth in how you have lived this out. That He does live, and because of it, you can face tomorrow. We have been, and will continue to be, a prayer warrior for the Moore family. I pray your words will bring healing to you, your family, and those who read.

  2. So glad you are blogging. You come to mind frequently and are lifted up in prayer every time.

  3. Thank you for this. I often think about you and wonder how you and your family are doing. I love you and you truly keep me grounded in my faith. Xander will live forever through you and all who knew him and love him. Prayers always!

  4. I am sure that I am not alone when I say it has been a time of grief for those of us that have been honored to share your most tender, personal victories and grief. But that's exactly what the body of Christ is supposed to do. We prayed for and even boldly expected a different outcome. God had a very different plan that will some day make sense. Until then, we will continue to pray for, love and support you and your beautiful family. May God bless each day with special memories and abundant love!

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    1. I am so very moved by your strength of witness. Your faith is a rock, and not to just those of us outside of your family. It is a shining example to your three children as well. The great plan God has for Xander…we only know in part. We WILL know it all later. I can't wait to see what God has in store for these strong kids of yours. Four mighty blessings they are, and I'm glad to know you.

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  7. Ricki Lea, I will continue to pray for you, Doug, Carter, Charli, and McClain. I have a joyous feeling when I see you all at church. You have such great faith in the Lord, and have handled this so graciously. Xander was a faithful servant to the Lord and fulfilled God's purpose in his life. Although he is missed here on Earth, there is a strong sense of rejoicefulness knowing that he is with Jesus in paradise. May the Lord embrace you and your family with his loving arms; and give you peace and comfort in your time of sorrow.

  8. Ricki Lea,
    Please keep sharing. Keep writing. We want to know and need to hear. Be raw and be real. Thank you for creating this blog. We are so thankful we met your family at Lighthouse. We never stopped following Xander or your family's story. We are so sorry for your loss but know exactly where Xander is and that his life glorified God immensely. I pray God will use you and this blog to help other mommies through this. In our foundation, sadly we are dealing with this every day (Just lost 16 year old Kyle Savary today) and it is so hard for me to look into the faces of these mommies and tell them God is Good. But you can. It is so hard for me to tell them they will get through this because Jesus lives, but you can. It is hard for me to tell them God is in control, but you can. Thank you for being willing.
    Dawn George
    Miami FL
    "CJ's mom"

  9. 2 Kings 2:9-10 contains:
    Elijah said to Elisha, "Ask what I shall do for you before I am taken from you." And Elisha said, "Please, let a double portion of your spirit be upon me." 10He said, "You have asked a hard thing

    I pray for all our family a double portion of Xander's spirit... but it is hard... Xander was and IS a WINNER!! He is not defeated, we are not defeated - He is VICTORIOUS through his Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

    11/23 is Xander's birthday - HBD X-man - put in a good word for comfort and grace for your friends and loved ones... If Ted's delivered in Heaven chow would already be on its way.. Pops