All day long I have cried. Poor McClain doesn't know why on earth anyone would cry in Hobby Lobby! I decided to put up the Christmas tree today, which led to a quick trip to Hobby Lobby, which led to picking out something to put at the cemetery tomorrow. I looked at Happy Birthday signs. Just couldn't bring myself to get one. What do you put at the grave of a boy who would be turning 12? He wouldn't want flowers!! He would probably think it was silly to put anything there at all. After circling the store several times I decided whatever is placed at the cemetery will be for me, Xander's momma.
12 years ago tomorrow I delivered a beautiful baby boy with a full head of dark hair. Xander's hair has been a topic of conversation his whole life. I had never seen a more beautiful baby and I just couldn't believe he was ours. Xander was ours for 11 years and 9 months. The hardest yet most amazing years of my life. I don't know what we are supposed to do tomorrow. I don't know how we are supposed to "celebrate" Xander's birthday.
I'm posting a picture of the 1st time I got to hold Xander in my arms. I'm crying then, just like I am today. Except today my arms are empty.